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Why Women Are Wondrous: Parshas Emor

Written by Dr. Ed Yisroel Susskind on 12 July 2017. Posted in Emor

 
 
Rebbetzin Cohen approached the stranger who was lounging on the patio of the Miami Beach Hotel.
 
"Hello", she greeted cheerfully with a clearly Yiddish intonation, "I see det you ahrr a newcomer!"
 
The stranger replied in a heavily Brooklynese accent : "Yeah, lady.  But how did know ?"
 
"Vell", she continued, "you look vite, like a vite fish.  You dunt get much sun."
 
"Yeah", confided the stranger,"  I just spent 10 years in  the 'can', 
you know , in the 'joint', in prison."
 
"Ten years !!!  Dets a long time!  Ken I ask vot you did?"
 
"Well, a drunken driver killed my wife.  I hunted him down, I chopped his body into little pieces with an axe, and I pickled the pieces in his favorite vodka."
 
Without missing a beat she replied, "oh, so your single!"
 
******
Woman have a privileged capacity to see the good and to use it as an opportunity for bonding.  This week's parsha, Emor (Lev., 21:1-24:23) subtly  alludes to this aptitude.
 

Harmony by Dov Lederberg
 
The parsha begins by warning the Priests (Kohanim) that they may not
 
participate in the commandment (mitzvah) of  taking care of the body of
 
a deceased person.   However, a Kohain may do so for "the flesh that is
 
closest to him, for his mother, his father, his son, his daughter, his
 
brother, and his unmarried sister."
 
 
To whom does "the flesh that is closest to him" refer?  Is this just a
 
collective noun for the people enumerated in the list, all of whom are
 
literally blood relatives?  No.  That would be a misreading of the text. 
 
The commentator Rashi explains that the word for "flesh" used here 
 
( שארו   
, sh'ai-RO) "refers to none but his wife".  

 
A question:  why does  the Torah here use a subtle, hidden, allusion that
 
 is prone to being misunderstood.  Would it not be simpler just to say
 
 "אשתו, his wife"?
 
 
A very similar question occurs later in the parsha.  The text (22:28)
 
 specifies that if you slaughter an ox (שור) you may not also slaughter his
 
 offspring on that same day.  Despite this explicit verse, you are, in fact,
 
 allowed to do that!  Why? Rashi explains that the Rabbi's stated that the
 
 verse refers to the female of the species  (the cow, not the ox). 
 
 
What is the underlying logic of giving special treatment to the cow-calf
 
 dyad, but not to the ox-calf relationship?  This is one of the places
 
 where Torah recognizes the specialness of the maternal bond over
 
 paternal ties.  Torah allows us to kill animals for our food, Nonetheless,
 
 on a symbolic level, it would be cruel and barbarous to kill both mother
 
 and child, even though they are animals.
 

 
Returning to our initial case of the Kohain's wife, the marital bond takes
 
 priority over his ties to his literal blood relatives.  She, "and none but the
 
 wife" is his flesh.
 
 
We remain with the question:  In making these points, why does Torah
 
 speak in so hidden a way, a way subject to misconstruction?
 
 
There are at least 2 answers.  One is that often the deepest truths in
 
 Torah are expressed in concealed ways; only he who is willing to devote
 
 himself to Torah study will be able to unearth the sweet depths of
 
 Torah.  In the language of the Sayings of the Fathers (5:21), regarding
 
 Torah study,  הפוך בה והפוך בה"delve into it, delve into it," or "turn it
 
 upside down". 
 

When we have to work to grasp the "real meaning" of something, the
 
 process makes a more powerful impression on us.  Had the initial verse
 
 above simply said, "his wife, his father, ....", we might have seen all the
 
 relatives as having equal status.
 
 
A second answer for the obliqueness of the writing is that this deep
 
 delving into the non-literal, hidden, mystical meaning of a verse is
 
 particularly appropriate when looking at the manifestations of the
 
 Female Force in our universe.  The Female Force deals with hidden,
 
 mystical, and trans-rational connections; in contrast the Male Force
 
 deals with openly revealed, less complex,  and rational  influences. 
 
 The Moon symbolizes "Female", whereas the Sun symbolizes "Male."
 
 
On a spiritual level, it is the Female side of our androgynous soul that
 
 provides a more robust tie to Hashem, through Faith.
 
 
 
 In contrast  the  Male side of our soul connects through a more fragile
 
 Rationality that  can be disrupted by incomprehensible life crises ( such
 
 as the  Holocaust, or people's individual traumas).
 
 
 
On a practical day-to-day level, in my work as an individual and marital
 
 therapist, I see the admonition of both Kabbalists and Sociologists that
 
for the most part it is the women in a society that teach men about love
 
 and loyalty.

Wedding scene by  Yehudit Yellin  
 
May we revel in our being nurtured by the Female Forces around us, such that we merit Hashem's Ultimate Nurturance, with the coming of Moshiach.
 
Happy Mother's Day

Dr. Yisroel Susskind is a clinical psychologist who practices locally (in Monsey, New York) and internationally (over the telephone and computer). He lectures worldwide on topics involving Torah, psychology, marriage and interpersonal relationships. He can be reached via email (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.) or by phone (845-304-5481).
 
If you do not receive these divrei Torah regularly (about twice a month) and you would like to subscribe to these articles , email me  or (simpler) click here  
 
Similarly, email me if you would like to receive my Jewish humor. To see videos of my humor, click on the four links below:
 
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